In two weeks, I am…..quitting my job! And I have no idea what I’m doing. That’s not quite true, but it’s not at all clear right now. I will actually be working through January or February doing some training for my other job, but after that I will not be working at a full time job.
Needless to say, I’m kind of freaking out, even though I am leaving of my own free will. It feels like I have reached a point where it is time to try to move on. And naturally, I shall freak out a lot.
While I try to decide what I want to do with my life in my current career miniature crisis, I thought of some jobs I would NOT want to do.
1. Theme Park Ride Tester
I get motion sickness just by riding in a bumpy car ride, so thrill rides are not for me. I ALWAYS close my eyes on roller coasters.
Last time, I opened them because I thought I would live adventurously, and got SO sick after riding the swinging ship ride. Did not puke, but also did not go on any other rides that night. I still ate a fried oreo later, though, so it wasn’t that bad.
2. Cologne Spritzer Lady at the Mall
I don’t like smelly things, so that also rules out hanging out at the Yankee Candle store and Lush.
3. Crawlspace Inspector
That’s probably not really a job title, but I’m not crawling under a house unless scientists have actually brought dinosaurs back to life, and it’s the only place the Tyrannosaurus Rex won’t find me.
I’ve seen way too many movies, and my fear of spiders is very strong.
4. Furniture Builder / Woodworker / Craftsman
If you’d seen me assemble a piece of Ikea furniture before, you’d understand that I am not skilled at building objects. And if you try to bring a hammer into the mix, it can only end in someone’s pain and suffering.
I think that’s actually only a Harry Potter job, but let’s just say I have not had a great record with flora. I am crazy about plants, but I have no idea how to care for them without, you know, killing them.
6. Uber / Lyft / Taxi Driver
Even with GPS, I am still possibly the worst person at directions. When I say I have no sense of direction, I am not exaggerating. When I get in a car, my route is based solely on experience of driving that way every day or GPS.
My husband still makes fun of me for driving in completely the opposite direction of his house for several miles while we were still dating, because I had been there several times before. I had to call him to get help finding his house, and drive all the way back the way I came, then towards his house.
All those things I will not be adding to my resume. Luckily, those are not on my dream job list. What jobs could you not see yourself doing?