Six Jobs I Could Not See Myself Doing

In two weeks, I am…..quitting my job! And I have no idea what I’m doing. That’s not quite true, but it’s not at all clear right now. I will actually be working through January or February doing some training for my other job, but after that I will not be working at a full time job.

Needless to say, I’m kind of freaking out, even though I am leaving of my own free will. It feels like I have reached a point where it is time to try to move on. And naturally, I shall freak out a lot.

While I try to decide what I want to do with my life in my current career miniature crisis, I thought of some jobs I would NOT want to do.

1. Theme Park Ride Tester
I get motion sickness just by riding in a bumpy car ride, so thrill rides are not for me. I ALWAYS close my eyes on roller coasters.

Last time, I opened them because I thought I would live adventurously, and got SO sick after riding the swinging ship ride. Did not puke, but also did not go on any other rides that night. I still ate a fried oreo later, though, so it wasn’t that bad.

2. Cologne Spritzer Lady at the Mall
I don’t like smelly things, so that also rules out hanging out at the Yankee Candle store and Lush.

3. Crawlspace Inspector
That’s probably not really a job title, but I’m not crawling under a house unless scientists have actually brought dinosaurs back to life, and it’s the only place the Tyrannosaurus Rex won’t find me.

I’ve seen way too many movies, and my fear of spiders is very strong.

4. Furniture Builder / Woodworker / Craftsman
If you’d seen me assemble a piece of Ikea furniture before, you’d understand that I am not skilled at building objects. And if you try to bring a hammer into the mix, it can only end in someone’s pain and suffering.

5. Herbologist
I think that’s actually only a Harry Potter job, but let’s just say I have not had a great record with flora. I am crazy about plants, but I have no idea how to care for them without, you know, killing them.

6. Uber / Lyft / Taxi Driver
Even with GPS, I am still possibly the worst person at directions. When I say I have no sense of direction, I am not exaggerating. When I get in a car, my route is based solely on experience of driving that way every day or GPS.

My husband still makes fun of me for driving in completely the opposite direction of his house for several miles while we were still dating, because I had been there several times before. I had to call him to get help finding his house, and drive all the way back the way I came, then towards his house.

All those things I will not be adding to my resume. Luckily, those are not on my dream job list. What jobs could you not see yourself doing?

10 thoughts on “Six Jobs I Could Not See Myself Doing

  1. I always say I couldnt be a truck driver… I couldnt sit in a small space for hours on end.
    I have a friend who is a small space rescuer – he has to get in the tiniest places – NOOOOOO WAYYYYYY


  2. Legit cannot stop laughing. I will never ever ever in my whole life consider being a crawl space inspector. EVER. That is scaring the pants off of me by just thinking about it. Haha. x


  3. yayyyyy for quitting jobs! i know you weren't happy there, but you'll find something so don't freak out!
    i am the same with directions. the other day we drove somewhere and KC wanted me to drive and he'd give me directions. i was like, this is a BAD IDEA. i seriously get so confused and it's like my hearing goes away and i have to ask him to repeat himself a thousand times. nope nope nope.
    also, i love love love roller coasters and thrill rides. i would not want to test them though, and you could not pay me to go on the pirate ship that goes upside down. NOPE.


  4. I worked in attractions at Magic Kingdom for a few months, and you totally could get scheduled for “test and adjust” shifts when Disney was about to open a new ride! Several hours of riding oooover and oooover. I never got one of those, but I guess it could be fun or awful depending on what the ride was!


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