I have been at my job for a few years now, and I have enjoyed it for most of the time. Lately, every day, I want to jump straight out of our one-story window, Scott Pilgrim-style.
When I first came to my job, I was completely terrified, because my boss moved me up into someone’s spot who had just left, and I had no idea how to do it. I had worked there before doing something else and briefly left, only to return, but the new job came with all kinds of responsibilities that I had never had before.
I had to ask a thousand questions, and my coworker gave me a hard time, because she liked the guy who used to work there before I came, and she gave me a little attitude.
On the other hand, I thought that one of my coworkers had the answers to everything, and he always made me laugh.
After being there for a while now, I have learned so much, and I am capable of doing anything I need to do, and don’t have to ask for help, except for special cases that might involve calling up our tech support guys.
The same coworker that used to make me laugh all the time, makes me frustrated by his laziness and short-cut-taking, and I feel that way about a lot of my coworkers. It’s hard to care about your job when it seems like everyone else just wants to take the easiest way and doesn’t care if it’s right.
There are also the people who refuse to learn new skills, even though they have been there for 3x as long as I have.
If they have been there for 15 years, I should not know more than them after being there for four.
I’ve been really frustrated with myself, lately, because I ask myself why I have stuck around so long. I want to have a positive atmosphere at work and enjoy what I’m doing.
I have to remind myself that I WAS happy, until recently, and I’ve come a long way since I first moved here five years ago, unsure how anything was going to work out.
I can also get pretty grumpy when people keep dropping stuff on my desk, because they refuse to learn how to do it themselves.
They’re also cracking down on monitoring everyone way too closely, and our computers now have NO internet access. For company emails, I can’t even click on the links they send, because technically we are on production computers, which don’t have access. I would have to log onto the ONE computer on the floor which has access to visit them.
And we have to record everything we do in a day on a form, because they want to know how productive people are being. It’s driving me crazy, and ever since our company was bought a few years ago, the new owner company has been making these nit-picky changes.
My boss asked me how I felt a couple of months ago, and I we both agreed that there’s not much to learn right now. We work within a fairly small location, and people stay for a long time, so there’s no room to progress right now.
It’s not terrible, I’m not working in some hellscape, it just feels like that sometimes, because I’m frustrated with myself. It’s hard to run out of challenges and feel like I’m treading water.
It’s not that bad, but I do get stuck in an endless loop of frustration.
The good news is, I plan to take steps and have been taking baby steps towards new things.
At the end of next month, I have the very scary plan to leave my job *knock on wood*, because I’ll be going to do some required training for my Guard job for a couple months. After that, I have plans for more learning, which once I set it all in stone, I will let you know.
At this point, I’m so stressed out sometimes, I change my mind about 15 times a day. I just need to hang in there a little longer.
Change is scary, but stagnation is scarier. I want to appreciate what I have, but I don’t want to feel like I can’t do more. I don’t need to be the richest lady in the world, but I want to be able to relate to my coworkers and do things that challenge me.