The Girl with the Opposable Thumb

I have done a lot of dumb things before. However, most of the time I am involved in bodily harm, it is an accident, no fault of my own or something small like falling on my butt on the ice.

I just want to warn you ahead of time that there is a super gross pic further below, however no blood or bodily fluids are involved and I am fine.

Let me start off with the following email I sent to my boss today:


I just wanted to let you know that I clocked in a little late today, because on the way in I tried to detach my thumb from the rest of my hand by way of smashing it in the car door, and am recovering from the ill effects of doing so.


This afternoon, I got out of my car, and promptly closed my thumb right in the door.

This was immediately followed by a series of overwhelming emotions.

First was shock, as I walked into my office building holding my already swelling and purple and red thumb in front of me in disbelief.

By the time I got to the break room, it was quickly wearing off into horror, which took a quick detour into panic, and as my poor, unaware coworkers were talking to me, I began to see dots and was internally screaming.

I dropped all my stuff on the counter and went to the nearest table and put my head on the table until I stopped freaking out and could breathe normally again.

But it hurt SO bad.

I got up and went to my desk once I had calmed down enough and was fairly sure I wasn’t gonna need to be surrounded by soft pillows on the floor.

Luckily, my coworker came over and immediately noticed I was white as paper, asked what happened, and gave me a couple Advil.

Along with the help of some ice, the pain went down after an hour or so, and I was able to use that hand again, just no thumb usage allowed.

Here’s what it looks like now – gross, isn’t it??

I feel so dumb and keep wishing I could have just moved my hand.

My coworkers made me feel better, though. And it is not as bad as having your toenail hit by a baseball bat and eventually falling off, as one of them told me about. My boss’s wife apparently slammed her finger in the car door, as well, and he had to take her to the hospital.

Have you ever hurt yourself in such a stupid way?

9 thoughts on “The Girl with the Opposable Thumb

  1. Oh my gosh!! That looks so painful! I probably would have fainted or puked haha I've never slammed my hand in anything, but I did end up with a goose egg on my forehead once. I slipped in the shower and grabbed the curtain on my way down and the entire rod came down and smacked me in the head lol graceful! Glad you're ok 🙂


  2. ugh! that is the worst. i've done that before and omfg PAIN.

    when i used to take the train into work, there are these big, heavy steel doors that you have to go through to get into the main station. it was summer, the doors were closed for some reason and i was wearing open toe sandals. i was the first one to get off the train/to those doors and with eleventy billion people behind you, you have to move fast so i flung the door open, felt searing pain on my big toe but kept moving because eleventy billion people behind me. then this one lady goes OH MY GOD! YOUR FOOT IS COVERED IN BLOOD! so i looked down and whoop, there it was. the door had sliced open my big toe, blood was pouring down my foot and into my sandal and all i could think about was MY SANDAL! IT'S RUINED! because priorities LOL. i was escorted to the medical area where they bandaged up my foot, stuck me in a cab and sent me to the nearest hospital. then i started getting scared because i was afraid that i'd need stitches! i ended up getting a tetanus shot instead which sucked 😦


  3. oh my gosh!!! OW. i have seriously done this more times than i care to admit. i do stupid things all the time – i walked into my bed once and broke my toe (a few hours after a half marathon, face palm), i fell back on to my dresser when i was like 8 and split my head open… i'm pretty clumsy.


  4. Oh mercy… I feel your pain… I had all 4 of my fingers slammed in a door before… breaking them all… right across the knuckles… I've done some seriously stupid things in my life 🙂
    Don't be surprised if your nail comes off… & its OK – it will grow back 🙂


  5. yikes ouuuuuch! When I was in college I lived in this campus housing with 49 other girls…. (it was great actually) … anyhow I was running down the stairs with my recipe for dinner… and I totally skipped a stair. I am not by nature that clumsy… and I had never seriously injured myself before. I broke my foot and seriously sprained my ankle. It was awful. Living in a house like that with stairs and then walking all over campus… tons of hills for months in a walking boot. Unable to work out much… ugh it was awful. I hope your thumb feels better soon! XO -Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s