I have done a lot of dumb things before. However, most of the time I am involved in bodily harm, it is an accident, no fault of my own or something small like falling on my butt on the ice.
I just want to warn you ahead of time that there is a super gross pic further below, however no blood or bodily fluids are involved and I am fine.
Let me start off with the following email I sent to my boss today:
I just wanted to let you know that I clocked in a little late today, because on the way in I tried to detach my thumb from the rest of my hand by way of smashing it in the car door, and am recovering from the ill effects of doing so.
This afternoon, I got out of my car, and promptly closed my thumb right in the door.
This was immediately followed by a series of overwhelming emotions.
First was shock, as I walked into my office building holding my already swelling and purple and red thumb in front of me in disbelief.
By the time I got to the break room, it was quickly wearing off into horror, which took a quick detour into panic, and as my poor, unaware coworkers were talking to me, I began to see dots and was internally screaming.
I dropped all my stuff on the counter and went to the nearest table and put my head on the table until I stopped freaking out and could breathe normally again.
But it hurt SO bad.
I got up and went to my desk once I had calmed down enough and was fairly sure I wasn’t gonna need to be surrounded by soft pillows on the floor.
Luckily, my coworker came over and immediately noticed I was white as paper, asked what happened, and gave me a couple Advil.
Along with the help of some ice, the pain went down after an hour or so, and I was able to use that hand again, just no thumb usage allowed.
Here’s what it looks like now – gross, isn’t it??
I feel so dumb and keep wishing I could have just moved my hand.
My coworkers made me feel better, though. And it is not as bad as having your toenail hit by a baseball bat and eventually falling off, as one of them told me about. My boss’s wife apparently slammed her finger in the car door, as well, and he had to take her to the hospital.
Have you ever hurt yourself in such a stupid way?