about me

Night of the Living Bugs

Jess

If you want to see me turn into a 5-year old and start freaking out, no matter the setting, all you have to do is bring me near an insect.

I have been known to have minor outbursts near them. I’d rather see a snake in my yard than come across a furry, gargantuan spider.

They have taken over my car.
Once, I was dropping the mail off at one of those blue bins in our neighborhood, and as soon as I rolled down the window, a spider crawled in.

I took no time at all to crawl across to the passenger seat and leave through the nearest exit, leaving the spider to do what he would with my car. I managed to get him out from the outside.

Crickets are scary, really.
I came home one night, only to find a cricket waiting on my front step. I took a step backward, he took a hop forward. I started running backwards, he started hopping after me.

Greg heard my screams from inside and thought I was being murdered. He found me outside, scared, staring down the cricket, saying, “He’s blocking my path.”

Bees are friends, unless you make them angry.
I have never been stung by a bee *knock on wood,* so everytime I see one I get super nervous. We went zip lining this year, and afterward we were standing in a group when this bee started hovering nearby.

My first mistake was to separate myself from the group, because that bee looked at me and got pissed. Like I just crossed the line. One more thing to his shitty bee day, and he had had enough.

He started chasing me, and everytime I thought he was gone, I would hear that angry buzzing come back. I ran in circles, screaming, naturally, because I am nothing if not graceful.

Everyone else was laughing, telling me to stand still and he would leave me alone. This is not a T-rex, people.

He doesn’t stop seeing me if I stop moving. Finally, the whole group got there and we were able to leave, with me running ahead.

Do you have any bug horror stories?

Published by Jess

9 thoughts on “Night of the Living Bugs”

  3. man I hate bugs, hate hate hate. once i was driving in a neighbourhood street and a spider appeared from the roof out of nowhere like all spooky like and i just jumped out of my car – thank goodness it was a manual (stalled) and not a busy street because i ran for the hills. i have been stung by a bee – once. i stepped on it, so it was my own stupid fault. i'm still terrified of them, and wasps as well – and all of those flying bugs that hang out near pools. i'm like why can't you leave me alone?!

    Like

    Reply

  4. I had a fender bender because of a bug! I was driving with the windows down and something flew in and hit me in the cheek. I turned my head to see what it was/where it went – meanwhile all the other cars decided it was time to slam on the breaks. Sneaky bug. I can tell you, I did not drive with the windows down for a while.

    Like

    Reply

  6. I hate bugs. HATE BUGS! I made the mistake of marrying a man who is more afraid of spiders than me. I am not sure how that happened? One night we came home and were walking from his car to our door. There was a spider hanging out. Not just any spider, a brown recluse! And it was HUGE! We looked at each other and both jumped back about five feet. I was like….well…..time to burn down the house! Then I quickly remembered my dogs were inside and that wasn't going to work. It was so in our way of getting inside!!!

    We could just simply go in to another door, but then it left him chillin in our garage….and who knew if he would try to pull any funny business. Chris watched him while I went inside and got his air soft gun and safetly glasses. Chris then proceeded to shoot the spider down….then I killed him with a shop broom and swept his carcass outside. It was very traumatic. Obviously.

    Also, I have been stung by a bee, twice! Once when I was two on my big toe, and once at band camp my junior year of high school. That time it stung the inside of my thigh and my whole upper leg blew up to twice normal size. Apparently I am allergic and now super terrified and run screaming ever time!

    Like

    Reply

  7. Oh man. While hiking I came across 3 different snakes. Did I run, no I stopped to take pictures! Haha! I also had this huge spider that build a web on the side of my house and light and I let him live there for 2 months till I figured it was time to wash him away. I guess as long as it's not on me I am ok with them.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment