Why I’m THAT Girl at the Festival

This weekend was simultaneously fantastic and slightly embarrassing. Y’all don’t even know how ladylike I am. Please allow me to explain.

We went to the Oddball Comedy Festival in Camden, NJ, and it was freaking awesome. We saw Louis C.K., Sarah Silverman, and a bunch of other comedians that were really good.

We got there at the start time on the tickets, but we still had a couple hours till the actual show started, so we got some crab fries and watched the host do a pre-show.

If you come to Maryland / the East Coast area and get nothing else, you have to get some Chickie and Pete’s crab fries. They are the crack of all french fries. And if you are an omnivore / cheese eater like my husband, you can also dip them in crazy delicious cheese sauce.

Then I got a little daring and thought, “I’m gonna have a beer, too, why not? It’s Saturday night, let’s get a little wild.”

But the real trouble started when, after ordering my Redd’s Apple Ale, the bartender asked me if I wanted “the big one.” Yes, of course I do. Are you questioning my beverage capacities?

Did I mention I hardly ever drink? So I’m kind of a lightweight, but I don’t want to believe I’m a lightweight.

So, naturally, after my mega size ale, I was having a GREAT time.

The magic was flowing, so I decided to have another.

By that time, the show was halfway through and it was dark outside. After drinking the second one like it was Dr. Pepper, Greg asked me if I wanted one more. Hello, dumb question! Drunk Jess always wants one more.

After the third one (I told you I’m a lightweight), things still seemed up, but, little to my limited knowledge, were quickly rolling downhill. I decided laying on the grass seemed much more comfortable (we were on the lawn, no seats).

Louis C.K. came on as the headlining and final act, and I could no longer watch the screen without seeing double of him. So I tried one eyeball, but quickly gave up on that, and decided to enjoy his act while resting my eyes.

After Louis finished, the show ended, so everyone around us got up and started walking toward the exit. Greg stood up, offering me a hand, as I sat up and stared ponderously around us. As I sat there, I realized that there was no way I could coordinate walking and I suddenly also realized I didn’t feel quite right.

And that’s when I puked on the Susquehanna Bank Center lawn.

I felt so bad. I was also worried that everyone was watching, but a lot of people were already moving away from us. At least I was wearing pants. And I felt much better.

Greg took us to the car and drove me home, where I proceeded to shower and curl up in bed.

So, anyway, yes, I was THAT girl at the festival. But I survived, and to be honest, I had a fantastic time.

Have you ever done anything embarrassing while drinking?