confessions

Humpday Confessions

I am taking a break from watching Game of Thrones for about 5 seconds (so amazing), so let’s get straight into my weekly confessions…

I have never eaten a whole pizza. I feel like the confession should be the other way around, but most people I talk to seem to have eaten a whole pizza at some point in their lives. Did I miss this mile marker?

I am still haunted by the most embarrassing moment of my life. It occurred on a sunny day back in elementary school. My teacher had a poem on the projector which we were supposed to be copying. My desk happened to be next to the projector. With no warning whatsoever, a horrific sneeze came out of me, and which way did I turn? Towards the projector. Boogers. All up on the board. My teacher said, “It happens to everyone.” Even then, I knew she was making it up.

My coworker makes me want to snap everytime she tells someone how good she is at something. My boss was once talking to her about how he walks on the treadmill sometimes, and she said that she likes to go on the treadmill for an hour and then the elliptical for an hour. That would be a workout obsession, and ain’t nobody got time for that. And I don’t believe a word she says.

Every time I see a pop tart, my mouth waters a little bit. Completely unsatisfying as a food, but it has crunchy icing and rainbow sprinkles.

How do people on TV always have so much time for hanging out with so many friends? I barely have time to eat my oatmeal while lying on the couch watching Game of Thrones, followed by a quick drool-filled nap, as it is.

My pet peeve is people who have to tell you how great they are. If they were that great, they wouldn’t have to try to convince everyone. Oh, you want to tell me how your life choices are better than everyone else’s?

Linking up with Kathy for Humpday Confessions.

Vodka and Soda

22 thoughts on “Humpday Confessions

  1. i know a girl who always brings up certain topics so she can talk about herself. it's completely transparent and annoying as fuck so whenever she does that, i legit turn around and start talking to someone else or walk away even if she's in mid-sentence. my other friends get a kick out of it because it's rude but i think it's rude for her to blabber on about herself incessantly. ain't nobody got time fo' dat!

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. Visting from the link up! I feel you on the pop tarts…they look so delicious and pretty and appealing and then I eat one and remember that I really don't like them.

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  3. omg that booger story. dying. i cant even imagine. hilarious!
    i hate 'one-uppers' – you say you run, they say they run marathons. you say you drink water, well they drink water with lemon. seriously. anything and everything, they can one up you. shut up! lies!

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  4. My most embarrassing moment was when I realized I was one of those awful “one-uppers”. I mean it was all true stuff and I didn't notice I was doing it. When I did I felt like crawling in a hole of shame. I changed that behavior real fast! haha

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  5. Seriously, pizza is my weakness. I cannot be trusted alone with pizza! But, even with my obsession, I have never been able to eat the whole thing…. I have totally tried, but never succeeded. Thank God!! Oh, and poptarts, don't get me started on those!!!

    ~Jenny

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  6. I've eaten an entire pizza before but not in one sitting or even same day so does that still count? I feel somewhat inadequate after reading that haha j/k…embarrassing story, first day of the 6th grade a bird took a giant dump on my head and no one told me all day….life was good back then 🙂

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  7. I really really like this post! To be honest, I hopped onto blogger to write my own “confessions” type blog post. xD

    The projector story is just about the most endearing thing I've ever read. *^^* HOpe you're having a great day!!

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  8. Oh man your projector story, it's ok we all have embarrassing moments we'll never forget. That girl and her treadmill and elliptical sounds absolutely annoying. Is it bad that I'm picturing her tripping on said treadmill and falling face first. eek I'm bad.

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  9. I was stationed with a one-upper. We all made it our mission to say the most ridiculous things around her to see what she would beat it with. Her bests were that she had sex while sky diving and that she was shot twice but the scars had disappeared over time. Bitch, sit the hell down.

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  10. I'm with you on the Pop Tarts!! They're so bad (nutritionally) but oh, so tempting with their frosting and sprinkles. I've been obsessed with the oatmeal and peanut butter ones lately, and like to tell myself they're healthier because they have less frosting… whatever works, right?

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  11. I love smore's pop tarts. You know how they come 2 in a packet? Yeah well I shamelessly eat both of them. I've never eaten a whole pizza either. I regret nothing!

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  12. Oh, I have people on my Facebook that like to pretend their lives are perfect. I always roll my eyes at those posts.

    Game of Thrones! One of my favorite shows. Only I'm not eating oatmeal while watching it. I'm generally eating chocolate or cupcakes.

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