I love this game, and via one of my favorite websites ever, Buzzfeed, I found ‘The Most Difficult ‘Would You Rather’ Questions of All Time,’ which I have decided to tackle.
1. Would you rather live one 1,000-year life or live ten 100-year lives?
Ten 100-year lives. I would get really bored in a 1,000-year life. If I have ten different lives, in one of them I might be a freakishly-long living wild goat, which would be cool.
2. Would you rather have hiccups for the rest of your life or feel like you need to sneeze and not be able to the rest of your life?
Sneezing – I hate hiccups. Really hate hiccups.
3. Would you rather have the ability to read minds, but be illiterate, or have just the ability to read?
Ability to read. Give up reading for the terrible super power of reading minds??? I don’t want to know what anyone is thinking, and I’ve always been terrified people might know what I’m thinking. When I was a kid, I used to think to myself, “Touch your ear if you can hear what I’m thinking.” Luckily, it never worked.
4. Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for a year (I’m sorry) or join in once to make it stop (I’m sorry)?
No. No. No. The second option would probably scar me for the rest of my life, so I’d pick the first.
5. Would you rather eat chocolate-flavored poop or poop-flavored chocolate?
Poop-flavored chocolate. I could eat it really fast and have some Dr. Pepper handy. Doesn’t matter if the poop tasted like chocolate. I would KNOW.
6. You’re on a desert island with a beautiful woman or man. Would you rather they are top-half fish or they are bottom-half fish.
I’ve had a lengthy discussion about this with Greg before, and we both agreed, bottom-half fish. Top-half fish is useless; you’ve got to keep them half in water, you can’t talk, and the up-keep would be too much.
Not have sex with a goat. My choice will always be not have sex with a goat, heck with people and their goat-sex slander.